


That's why Heroes Fade so Fast

by Peachpancake



Series: Broken Compass [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Bang Chan is a Sweetheart, Fluff, Gen, Hurt Chan, Hurt/Comfort, I'm back boys, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Magic, Sequel to Smells Like Roses to Me, So much angst, Vampire AU, War, aftermath of brainwashing? Kind of?, alternative universe, but it gets better, but please show lots of love to my oc he's just a little confused and kind of an asshole at first, chan suffers, i promise there will be happier bits in it, idk idk, ok idk what else to tag, ok so listen im bringing in my oc but woochan is still the otp here, ok so this is kinda dark, small amount of, so here's the sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-10-15
Packaged: 2020-10-11 08:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20542889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peachpancake/pseuds/Peachpancake
Summary: "When Jisung is not hanging out with Minho, he’s with Mr Jeon and Nurse Kim, begging for new information about Chan. They don’t allow them inside the meetings yet - not until they hear from Min Yoongi, they said. The second the vampire notifies them of the situation, Jisung and the others can join the rebellion. Until then, they have to stay away.Minho doesn’t think it makes sense, and Jisung doesn’t either, judging by the way he screams at Mr Jeon whenever they get into this argument. Mr Jeon just crouches down with a pained smile on his face, and holds Jisung until the werewolf crumbles into a sobbing mess."*I'm back with the sequel!! If you haven't read Smells Like Roses to Me, this won't make sense.





	1. The Pendant

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back!!   
Thank you for the tremendous support I've been getting from you guys <3 It means so much, you have no idea.
> 
> This is the sequel to Smells Like Roses to Me - just a warning, it's going to get a little dark. There isn't a lot of description's of violence as opposed to implying it, but there's a lot of psychological stuff in there that might be a bit intense. 
> 
> I hope you guys will like it <3 I'm gonna try and update as regularly as I can but I can't promise anything <3

Darkness. ** **   
** **

No air. No light, just the suffocating  _ darkness _ . ** **   
** **

Trembling hands try to grab onto anything, searching for an escape route. Fingers touch something rough - a wooden surface.  ** **   
** **

Coffin.  ** **   
** **

He was trapped in a  _ coffin _ .  ** **   
** **

His nostrils flare as he’s suddenly hit by a strong smell. His bones ache, mouth opening into a silent scream as he feels his veins sink further into themselves.  ** **   
** **

He needs  _ blood. _ ** **   
** **

The fear of starving to death gives him an adrenaline rush, and with a kick, the wooden cover of the coffin breaks. ** **   
** **

With it, earth covers his body. ** **   
** **

The weight pushing him into the ground, stopping him from moving at all is terrifying, but the smell of blood is stronger, and he is digging before he can even register that his hands are moving. ** **   
** **

His throat is  _ burning,  _ lungs trying to expand even though he knows he doesn’t need oxygen. Every time he reaches through the dirt, more falls on him, but he doesn’t want to give up. He just wants  _ blood.  _ ** **   
** **

His hands finally touch the air and in the back of his mind he realises that it’s raining. The water drops are like acid, but he keeps digging anyway because he’s so  _ close - _ ** **   
** **

His first breath is exhilarating.  ** **   
** **

Blood never smelt so  _ good _ before. ** **   
** **

Before he knows, he’s crawling towards the smell, tripping over his own arms and legs. He’s reaching out towards the blood bag held in front of him, almost there, almost  _ touching it -  _ ** **   
** **

Then it disappears.  ** **   
** **

It disappears into  _ thin air _ .  ** **   
** **

He frantically looks around, eyes searching through the dark so maybe he could get a glimpse of the delicious dark liquid, but it’s gone.  ** **   
** **

His hunger isn’t.  ** **   
** **

He whines pathetically, crumbling to the floor. His forehead is pressed against the cool ground and he is still being soaked in the rain - he belatedly realises that he’s only wearing trousers.  ** **   
** **

“Are you ready to comply?” a voice cuts through the deafening storm. He tries to focus, to understand what the voice is asking him, but the ache in his bones is too distracting. “I said,” there’s a whip against his back, and he cries out in pain, “ _ are you ready to comply _ ?” ** **   
** **

There’s something tugging in the back of his mind. He tries to remember who he is, why he’s here, but nothing comes up. He can only focus on the blood that has been so cruelly taken away from him.  ** **   
** **

“Soldier,” the voice starts again, impatience seeping through. “Are you ready to swear loyalty to District 0?” ** **   
** **

_ Felix. _ ** **   
** **

“No,” he chokes out, the words hurting his throat. “Never.” ** **   
** **

He doesn’t know why he’s saying that. He knows that if he agrees, he’ll get the blood he wants to badly, but something is stopping him.  ** **   
** **

_ His eyes stop on… Freckles.  _

_ Felix.  _

He grabs his hair and starts pulling. 

_ “I can’t lose you again, Chan, please-” _

His mouth opens to a silent scream.

_ “I promise I’ll come back.” _

“Bury him again,” the voice commands. “Make the coffin out of metal this time.”

*

When Chan opens his eyes again, he remembers his name.  ** **   
** **

There’s blood on his face as they push him back under the ground. ** **   
** **

*

** **

After the fourth week, Chan doesn’t wake up in coffins anymore, but rather he’s chained to a wall. His bones still ache, but he can think now - yet he doesn’t. ** **   
** **

He just sits there, in silence, waiting until they bring him the next blood bag.  ** **   
** **

When the door opens to his cell, his eyes stay trained on the ground, learnt from earlier mistakes.  ** **   
** **

You don’t make eye contact.  ** **   
** **

“Soldier,” the voice says. “Are you ready to comply?” ** **   
** **

A week ago, Chan would have said no. Now he doesn’t even hesitate. ** **   
** **

“Yes, sir.” ** **   
** **

“Good,” the voice sounds happy with him. “You will be released tomorrow.” ** **   
** **

_ Released? _ ** **   
** **

The voice comes closer, and then there’s a hand holding onto his jaw, forcing him to look up.  ** **   
** **

Cold red eyes stare back at him. ** **   
** **

“You will begin your training, soldier,” the man says calmly. His white hair falls upon his shoulders. “You will be put in region 9.” ** **   
** **

“Understood, sir,” Chan says, even though he doesn’t.  ** **   
** **

“I will send Min to pick you up tomorrow,” the man blinks slowly, his eyes roaming on Chan’s face lazily. “I am putting you under his command. Any disobedience - and you know what will happen.” ** **   
** **

Cold fear creeps through Chan’s bones as he subconsciously flinches. He shuts his eyes, waiting for punishment, but after a few seconds, he opens them only to see the man smile in satisfaction.  ** **   
** **

“Here’s your reward, soldier.”  ** **   
** **

There’s a blood bag thrown in front of him, and Chan’s mind goes white.  ** **   
** **

When he comes back to consciousness, the blood bag is torn in front of him, and his bones ache a little less. ** **   
** **

*

** **

Min is a quiet man. His red eyes almost glow in the dark as he opens Chan’s cell, and when Chan doesn’t make eye contact, his soft voice flows through the darkness. ** **   
** **

“You can look at me.” ** **   
** **

So Chan does, because though it was phrased nicely, the words were an order. When his eyes meet Min’s he thinks he sees a flicker of something, but it’s gone as quickly as it arrived.  ** **   
** **

Chan can’t trust his brain anyway.  ** **   
** **

“I’m going to unchain you,” Min says, and Chan wonders why he’s telling him that when Chan doesn’t have the choice to say no. He finds comfort in the words anyway. At least this way he can prepare himself and not freak out before Min touches him.  ** **   
** **

For the first time in four weeks, Chan stands up on his shaky legs. Min looks like he wants to reach out to him and help, but when Chan falls onto his knees, the other vampire doesn’t move.  ** **   
** **

“We have to go,” Min says instead, turning and walking towards the door. “You need to start your training.” ** **   
** **

“For what?” Chan’s mouth betrays him, and the boy closes his eyes again, waiting for punishment.  ** **   
** **

Yet, again, it doesn’t come. ** **   
** **

“You are going to be trained to fight, soldier,” Min says slowly. “So that we can send you on missions.” He steps closer to Chan, suddenly reaching forward, and for a second Chan thinks he’s going to get slapped, but Min only grabs his elbow and pulls him up. “Now I suggest you know your place and won’t ask anymore questions.” ** **   
** **

“Yes, sir,” Chan forces it out.  ** **   
** **

Min looks at him for a moment, yet another unreadable expression appearing on his face, and then he lets go of his elbow, but not before squeezing it slightly. Chan’s brain stops for a second, trying to work out what that means, but then Min steps outside the cell and Chan’s feet hurry after him, desperate to escape hell. The older vampire walks slowly in front of him, and Chan is thankful for that - the only reason he hasn’t collapsed yet was because of the blood bag yesterday which subconsciously triggered his powers. Now Chan feels like he’s twelve again - he trips in his own foot because he moves too fast, and gets dizzy because his eyes are scanning his surroundings quick enough to make him feel like he’s in a spinning room.  ** **   
** **

Min stops to talk to a guard, and he glances at Chan in the corners of his eyes, whispering quiet enough that even Chan’s powers won’t help him hear Min’s voice. The guard throws Chan a disgusted nod, then steps to the side, letting Min pass, and the older vampire turns around to beckon Chan closer. ** **   
** **

“Come on,” he says, and Chan feels like Min’s voice almost softens a bit. “Let’s go outside.” ** **   
** **

*

** **

It’s cold.  ** **   
** **

That’s the first thing Chan notices, and he realises that he’s still only in a pair of trousers and nothing else. A group of girls - witches maybe? - pass him, and they start to giggle once they look at Chan’s bare chest, a predatory smile appearing on their faces. Chan curls on himself, trying to hide his scars that stand out even more now that he’s paler than ever, and then Min steps in front of him, blocking the girls from his vision. ** **   
** **

“Here,” He takes off his jumper quietly, handing it to Chan. The younger vampire is too shocked to say anything as he hesitantly reaches out for the clothing. He puts it on gently, careful of his sore muscles, and he lets out a subconscious sigh once it’s on. ** **   
** **

It’s  _ soft.  _ ** **   
** **

He hasn’t been even remotely comfortable in the last four weeks, from the coffins to being chained to the wall.  ** **   
** **

The jumper was like heaven. ** **   
** **

“Chan,” Min whispers quietly, like a warning. “Let’s go.” ** **   
** **

Chan nods quickly, hurrying after the older as Min starts to walk. Now that Chan’s not shaking from the freezing air, he starts to notice more of his surroundings.  ** **   
** **

He’s in a military base. ** **   
** **

At least that’s what it looks like - there are tents everywhere, filled with weapons and soldiers. Chan’s eyes travel to the soldiers resting on his left, their hats hiding their eyes as they smoke cigarettes, leaning forward as they play another round of cards. One of them look up, their blood red eyes staring into Chan’s, and then Chan remembers and snaps his head down because he  _ cannot make eye contact, he’ll be punished,  _ so he trains his eyes on Min’s blood-red shoes and hopes to god he doesn’t trip up. ** **   
** **

It’s exactly like what he imagined District 0 to be like, and yet it’s a thousand times worse.  ** **   
** **

“We’re here,” Min announces, and then he suddenly reaches out to grab Chan’s shoulders and pulls him in the bushes. ** **   
** **

Chan  _ panics. _ ** **   
** **

He belatedly realises his fangs are out and he’s tossing around, trying to get out of Min’s grip, but in the moment all he can focus on is getting away as quick as possible because  _ they’re gonna bury him again, he’s gonna be put underground and he’ll have to crawl his way out just to be pushed back again, he can’t, he can’t - _ ** **   
** **

“Chan, come on, calm down-  _ Chris! _ ” ** **   
** **

Chan blanks. ** **   
** **

He’s staring at a ghost. ** **   
** **

He  _ must _ be.  ** **   
** **

There’s no other way -  ** **   
** **

“Why aren’t you dead?” he finds himself whispering as he stares up at the boy he lost years ago.  ** **   
** **

“Chris,” Bambam says and Chan flinches so hard he feels his bones cracking.  ** **   
** **

“You should be dead,” Chan says again, like a prayer.  ** **   
** **

“Don’t say that,” Bambam frowns hard, and his lips quiver, but he doesn’t cry. “Please, don’t say that.” ** **   
** **

Chan’s eyes dart to the merman’s neck, and his eyes stop on the two scars that are parallel to each other.  ** **   
** **

“You were bitten,” Chan states, and he realises that he doesn’t care that he sounds like he’s dead. “When?” ** **   
** **

“Chris,” Bambam breathes again, and this time his eyes do fill with tears. “Chris, fuck, I’m so sorry.” ** **   
** **

“I don’t understand,” Chan says. “I don’t understand.” ** **   
** **

“Chan, listen to me.” Min’s squatting in front of him, eyes darting around as if he’s afraid he’s gonna get caught doing something he shouldn’t.  ** **   
** **

“I’m Min Yoongi. I work for the rebellion. I know Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung.” ** **   
** **

“Mr Jeon,” Chan nods slowly. “You’re the vampire he talked about.” ** **   
** **

“Yes,” Min sighs in relief. “We’re hidden at the moment, but we cannot stay here for long. Bambam is with me, and we’re working on stopping District 0, but you cannot stay here, do you understand?” ** **   
** **

“No,” Chan states honestly. “I don’t understand anything.” ** **   
** **

“The man who was with you yesterday,” Min says quietly. “He’s Icarus.” He loosens his hold on Chan, just enough that it doesn’t feel suffocating anymore. “He’s a part of the Circle. He’s in charge of training the soldiers.” ** **   
** **

“Okay,” Chan blinks. ** **   
** **

“He’s been testing you, Chan,” Min lets out a sigh. “To see how far can they push you until you give up control.” ** **   
** **

_ Oh. _ ** **   
** **

“Oh,” Chan says. ** **   
** **

“They’re going to make a soldier out of you, Chan.” ** **   
** **

“You’re going to have to try and resist their training, Chris,” Bambam mutters. ** **   
** **

“Don’t call me that,” Chan says automatically, and then he pauses. Bambam flinches.  ** **   
** **

“There is a lot that you’re missing, Chan,” Min says carefully, watching the exchange between the old friends. “All I ask of you is just to listen.” ** **   
** **

“Yes, sir,” Chan forces it out.  ** **   
** **

“Just call me hyung, please,” Yoongi smiles for the first time.  ** **   
** **

Bambam shuffles a bit closer to them, sitting down next to Yoongi. Chan can tell that the merman is looking at him, but he doesn’t make eye-contact.  ** **   
** **

“My pendant,” He mutters. Chan blinks. ** **   
** **

“What?” ** **   
** **

“That’s not mine,” Bambam says hesitantly. “The pendant on your neck, I mean.” ** **   
** **

Chan’s hand slowly rises to hold onto his necklace, a sorrow washing through him as he remembers Seungmin. ** **   
** **

_ “Keep this, hyung,” he said, holding Chan’s hands gently. “I’ll protect the pendant you gave me, and in return, I ask you to protect my pendant.” _ ** **   
** **

_ “Seungmin, I don’t think this is a good idea-” Chan stutters, but Seungmin sushes him. _ ** **   
** **

_ “I trust you, hyung,” Seungmin smiles. “You saved me when I first met you.” _ ** **   
** **

“I gave it to a merman in need,” Chan mutters. “He gave me his as a thanks.” ** **   
** **

“You always manage to pick up strays, don’t you?” Bambam’s voice shakes as he lets out a weak chuckle.  ** **   
** **

Chan doesn’t answer. ** **   
** **

“Chris,” Bambam says, pausing, but when Chan doesn’t stop him, he continues. “There’s something important that you should know.” ** **   
** **

Chan stays silent, eyes trained on the floor, the only thing keeping him grounded is Yoongi’s hands that are now resting on his knees. The younger vampire rests his hands on the ground, feeling the dampness of it, strains his ears to hear the other soldiers chat behind the bushes, anything to remind himself he’s not in a coffin anymore. Bambam shuffles closer, and Chan thinks about how they’ve not been caught yet, the way no one thinks it’s weird that two vampires and a merman are crouching behind a bush in a military base, but then he thinks back to when he first went to the District 9 Academy, and the way it was hidden behind a spell, away from prying eyes.  ** **   
** **

This place must be hidden as well.  ** **   
** **

“Back about a year ago, your brother was attacked.” Bambam gulps, and Chan can see his hands are shaking from the corners of his eyes. Then the merman’s words catch up to him.   


Chan freezes. ** **   
** **

“How do you know that?” He breathes, lifting his eyes up to look at his childhood friend. ** **   
** **

“I didn’t realise it was him until you showed up, I swear,” Bambam stutters. “I never wanted him to be hurt, I swear - “ ** **   
** **

Chan moves quicker than lightning, and he’s on Bambam in a second. He growls, anger overtaking his actions as he puts his hands around the merman’s neck,  _ squeezing - _ ** **   
** **

He’s pulled back by his hair, and then Yoongi’s red eyes stare into his own, forcing him to sink on his knees and whimper in apology.  ** **   
** **

“It’s okay,” Yoongi quickly says as soon as he sees that Chan’s submitted.. “It’s okay, Chan, it’s okay. Your self control is fucked up at the moment, do you understand? You might feel angry right now, but that’s not you. Fight back.” ** **   
** **

“You  _ attacked my brother! _ ” Chan snarls. “How  _ could you?! _ ” ** **   
** **

“Chris, please-” ** **   
** **

“Chan, listen to my voice. Control yourself.  _ Fight back! _ ” ** **   
** **

Chan doesn’t want to fight back. He wants to attack Bambam, have him under his hands as he chokes the life out of him, then drink his blood until - ** **   
** **

_ Fuck. _ ** **   
** **

He attacked Bambam.  ** **   
** **

Back in that alleyway.  ** **   
** **

He almost drained him dry. ** **   
** **

He nearly killed his friend back then. ** **   
** **

And he almost did it again. ** **   
** **

“I’m sorry,” Chan gasps, cowering on the floor, waiting for a punishment. “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” His breathing picks up. “Bambam,” he chokes out. “Bambam, I am  _ so _ sorry.” ** **   
** **

“Oh, Chris,” Bambam chokes out, and then Chan feels the merman’s hands in his hair, petting it slowly. “Oh, Chris, please don’t apologise.” Chan’s shaking like a leaf. “It’s not your fault.” ** **   
** **

“I don’t understand,” Chan is struggling to breathe. “Why can’t I remember?”  ** **   
** **

“Jackson was with me,” Bambam whispers. “He’s a witch. He panicked and cursed you. How much do you remember?” ** **   
** **

“Nothing,” Chan whimpers. “I can barely remember anything from District 1. I keep forgetting things.” ** **   
** **

“Shit,” Bambam curses. “Jackson must have fucked up the curse.” ** **   
** **

“We’ll figure that out,” Yoongi promises. “Right now we have to go. Icarus is coming.” Chan feels Yoongi’s hand on his back. “I’m sorry, little one, but we have to go. Just last until Icarus leaves. I promise you can rest afterwards.” ** **   
** **

“What do I have to do?” Chan whispers. He belatedly realises that his head is resting on Bambam’s lap, and he can’t find the energy to stand up.  ** **   
** **

“Don’t mention anything I’ve said before.” Yoongi grabs him under the arms and pulls him up easily. “Do whatever I say.” He turns Chan’s chin towards him. “And remember, I’m on your side.” ** **   
** **

* ** **   
** **

“Soldier,” Icarus says, standing in front of Chan. “Kneel."   


Chan’s body moves before he can register what Icarus has said, and he finds himself on the ground, staring at the damp dirt.  ** **   
** **

“Good,” Icarus says. “I see he’s still conditioned.” Chan forces himself not to shiver at those words. “I was worried he’d change after coming out of his cell.” ** **   
** **

“He’s still the same, Icarus,” Min says dryly. Chan blinks. The vampire addressed Icarus so casually, as if- ** **   
** **

“Oh, don’t be like that, Min,” Chan can hear Icarus smiling. “if you have issues with my way of training the soldiers, bring it up to the rest of the Circle. It’s one against eight, really. You’d have no chance.” ** **   
** **

Yoongi is also a part of the Circle.  ** **   
** **

Just how deep is he in District 0? ** **   
** **

“Your training makes effective soldiers, Icarus,” Min says. “I went through it as well, after all.” ** **   
** **

“Yes,” Icarus muses. “You were quite a tough one. Almost took as long as this one here.” ** **   
** **

Chan doesn’t look up, even though he knows Icarus is pointing at him. ** **   
** **

“Be careful how you speak to me, Icarus,” Yoongi’s voice lowers. “I might have started out as a soldier training under you, but I’m a part of the Circle now.” He scoffs. “You don’t have power over me.” ** **   
** **

“No, but I did,” Icarus sighs. “And now you are the head of the medical team.” Chan can hear him step back. “What a waste.” ** **   
** **

“Are you done checking up on the soldier, Icarus?” Yoongi sounds tired now. “I have things to attend to. You stopped me before I could take him to his quarter.” ** **   
** **

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am done,” Icarus says. “I’ll see you later, Min. The Circle meeting is at 19:00. Don’t be late.” ** **   
** **

Chan stays on the ground until he can’t hear Icarus’ footsteps fading anymore and Yoongi orders him to stand up.  ** **   
** **

“Follow me,” Yoongi says coldly. Chan struggles to not flinch at the obvious difference in the older’s voice, his mind having flashbacks to when Yoongi called him a little one. It was so comforting, and Chan could almost believe that someone’s taking care of him, but the way Yoongi sounds now makes Chan question if Yoongi was ever gentle with him.  ** **   
** **

Still, when he dares himself to look up in the other’s eyes, he can tell that Yoongi is only acting. To the other people around them, it isn’t obvious, but Chan has seen Yoongi’s eyes go soft, and although he has a stone cold expression, Chan can see the worry around his eyes.  ** **   
** **

In so little time, Chan has put all his trust in Min Yoongi.  ** **   
** **

He hopes he hasn’t made a mistake.

** **

* ** **   
** **

Lee Minho is many things, but he is not a coward. As a human, he has always felt threatened wherever he went, helpless and defenseless against all the other ranks. He walks past people who could destroy him in a second every day with his head held high.  ** **   
** **

He never shows weakness. ** **   
** **

He feared the other ranks less and less every day he trained with Chan. He learnt that he can defend himself even when he only has his own body to use..  ** **   
** **

He isn’t afraid anymore. ** **   
** **

So why can’t he enter Woojin’s room? ** **   
** **

Ever since Mr Jeon and Nurse Kim agreed to take them to District 7 after Chan’s kidnapping, Woojin has shoved his feelings aside and put on a blank mask. He puts all his focus on looking after the rest of them, from making tea for Felix in the middle of the night to not letting Jeongin out of his sight for more than a second.  ** **   
** **

But he doesn’t talk to Changbin or Jisung.  ** **   
** **

Must be the guilt. ** **   
** **

Changbin doesn’t talk anymore. To anyone. He cuddles with the others, looks after the younger ones, but he doesn’t say anything. Sometimes, Minho sees him try, when he’s with Felix and he thinks no one’s watching, but he always ends up shutting his mouth and burying his head in Felix’s shoulders.  ** **   
** **

He  _ physically _ cannot talk, Minho realises after a while. He has lost his alpha and now he has lost his voice. ** **   
** **

Felix reassures him that it’s okay every single time. He holds Changbin as the older clings to him, whispering sweet nothings until the werewolf calms down. In return, Changbin stays with him throughout his nightmares, when Felix dreams of losing Chan all over again.  ** **   
** **

They’re good for each other, Minho thinks. He’s glad they found somewhere to go when they’re struggling. ** **   
** **

Jisung has become deathly pale in the last few weeks. Minho spends a lot of time with him, and he tries to take the younger’s mind off of all the terrible things happening. The werewolf appreciates it, Minho knows by the little smile he drops every time the human takes them to the nearby shelter to pet the animals, but the werewolf is only the shell of who he used to be.  ** **   
** **

When Jisung is not hanging out with Minho, he’s with Mr Jeon and Nurse Kim, begging for new information about Chan. They don’t allow them inside the meetings yet - not until they hear from Min Yoongi, they said. The second the vampire notifies them of the situation, Jisung and the others can join the rebellion. Until then, they have to stay away.  ** **   
** **

Minho doesn’t think it makes sense, and Jisung doesn’t either, judging by the way he screams at Mr Jeon whenever they get into this argument. Mr Jeon just crouches down with a pained smile on his face, and holds Jisung until the werewolf crumbles into a sobbing mess.  ** **   
** **

“I promise we will find him,” Mr Jeon whispers again and again. One day, he makes eye-contact with Minho who is hovering in the corner, just far away enough that Jisung isn’t able to tell he’s here. “We will find him, and then you boys will get him and bring him back.” Mr Jeon nods at Minho, and Minho finds himself nodding back. “I promise.” ** **   
** **

Minho finds it the hardest to look after Hyunjin. The mage can’t be found most days, and when Minho does see him, he is in Seungmin’s arms.  ** **   
** **

“He feels guilty, Minho hyung,” Seungmin sighs, and he sounds so  _ tired.  _ “You know what happened between them - Hyunjin feels like he never had the chance to make up to Chan.” ** **   
** **

“I’m sorry,” Minho simply says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.  ** **   
** **

He doesn’t know if there  _ is _ anything else to say.  ** **   
** **

So he stands in front of Woojin’s room, leaning against the wall, waiting for  _ god _ knows what. ** **   
** **

No, he knows what he’s waiting for.  ** **   
** **

He’s waiting for  _ Woojin _ . ** **   
** **

He’s waiting for Woojin because ever since he could remember, Woojin was the first person to ever view him as someone strong and someone who’s an equal. He was there when Minho was at his worst, he was there when Minho felt like he was not worth anything, and he was there when Minho was falling to pieces.  ** **   
** **

Woojin  _ always _ picked up the pieces.  ** **   
** **

So where is he now? ** **   
** **

And Minho knows that he’s asking for too much because Woojin had to watch Chan be taken  _ right from his arms _ . He knows Woojin fell in love with the way Chan softens when he’s with anyone he cares about, the way he goofs around when his favourite song is on, and the way his mouth curls into a content smile as he watches his pack. Minho knows, he  _ knows  _ Woojin is in pain, and Minho wishes he could do something about that, but - ** **   
** **

But Minho can’t do this alone.  ** **   
** **

He can’t look after everyone while Woojin is hiding away his emotions.  ** **   
** **

Minho  _ knows _ he’s asking for too much, but he needs Woojin so he can let himself mourn too. ** **   
** **

“You’ve been standing there for half an hour now.” ** **   
** **

Minho turns his head, blinking at Jeongin, who offers him a weak smile.  ** **   
** **

“He’ll understand, hyung,” Jeongin continues. “That you need a shoulder to cry on.” ** **   
** **

Minho doesn’t know what to say, but Jeongin doesn’t seem to mind. ** **   
** **

“You’re allowed to be sad,” the werewolf says quietly. Minho raises his eyebrows in confusion. “You lost your best friend.” ** **   
** **

Minho’s breath hitches. His mind jumps to Woojin, who’s behind the door, cutting himself off, and leaving Minho alone. Then he thinks of Chan, the person who taught him how to defend himself, how to love himself when he felt so weak, being taken away just before he could escape. ** **   
** **

“I know you think you don’t have the right to feel sad,” the werefox sighs. “I understand. After all, Felix has just lost him for the second time, and Changbin and Jisung lost their alpha.” ** **   
** **

Minho lets out a shaky breath. ** **   
** **

“But Chan was important to all of us,” Jeongin continues. “And he was important to you.”  ** **   
** **

Minho closes his eyes. ** **   
** **

“He helped me through  _ so _ much,” he whispers quietly. “He believed in me when no one else has.” He lets his head fall forward. “I just miss him  _ so damn much. _ ” ** **   
** **

“It’s okay, hyung,” Jeongin’s lips quiver, but he quickly hides it with a weak smile as he steps closer to Minho. “We’ll get him back.” ** **   
** **

“I should be the one telling you that,” Minho laughs wetly. “I should be the one looking after you.” ** **   
** **

“I think it’s time we all look after each other,” Jeongin whispers gently. “So please, knock on the door.” ** **   
** **

So Minho takes Jeongin’s hand, steps in front of Woojin’s door - ** **   
** **

and knocks.  ** **   
** **

It takes a couple of seconds for the door to open, and when it does, Minho squeezes Jeongin’s hand. ** **   
** **

Woojin looks terrible, hair messy and eyes red, but the worst is when his eyes travel down from Minho’s face to his hand intertwined with Jeongin, and his expression changes from blank to scared. ** **   
** **

“Minho?” He mutters. “What’s wrong?” He turns to Jeongin. “What’s going on?” ** **   
** **

“You lost your love, hyung,” Jeongin says gently. “ but Minho hyung lost his best friend.” ** **   
** **

Woojin blinks, his mind processing the words.  ** **   
** **

“I’m sorry, hyung, I really am,” Minho whispers. “I didn’t want to bother you, I just… I don’t know what to do.” ** **   
** **

“Minho hyung has looked after us, Woojin hyung,” Jeongin raises his chin. “But we’re a family. We  _ all  _ need to take care of each other.” He lets go of Minho’s hand and pushes him towards Woojin. “And right now, hyung needs you.” ** **   
** **

“Oh, Minho,” Woojin sighs, and the exhaustion on his face is the last straw. Minho’s tears fall, and he lets out a sob. “I’m  _ so _ sorry. I never meant to leave you alone.” ** **   
** **

“I just miss him so much,” Minho hiccups. Woojin wastes no time pulling him in his arms, and in the corner of his eyes, Minho sees Jeongin give them a heart-wrenching smile and disappear around the corner.  ** **   
** **

“Me too, Minho,” Woojin whispers. “Me too.” ** **   
** **

“We all miss him so much, hyung, I can’t do this alone,” Minho lets Woojin carry him inside his room. “I don’t know how he did it.” ** **   
** **

“What do you mean?” Woojin asks softly. ** **   
** **

“He took care of us no matter what. He never came to us for help though,” the human wipes his tears, but more replaces them. “It must have been lonely.” ** **   
** **

“If,” Woojin pauses, clearing his throat. “When he comes back, we’ll look after him, okay?” He holds Minho closer. “You and me, we’ll make sure he takes care of himself.” ** **   
** **

“Promise?” Minho whispers.  ** **   
** **

“I promise.” ** **   
** **

There are footsteps outside Woojin’s room, and then Jisung kicks the door open. Jeongin is standing behind him with eyes wide open, something akin to hope on his face.  ** **   
** **

“Yoongi found him,” Jisung gasps. “He found Chan.”


	2. Raise a Glass to Freedom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re crazy if you think you can get away from here,” he says, unsure.
> 
> “I’m delivering a package,” Chan murmurs. “Min says he’ll get me out.”
> 
> BL95 scoffs.
> 
> “Of course. You show up, spend three months here and Min gets you out.” He crosses his arms. “Go on, leave the rest of us rot in here.”
> 
> Chan slowly lifts his eyes. He steps closer to BL95 - the soldier tenses up, leaning back into the wall as Chan gets in his face.
> 
> “I don’t know who you think you are,” Chan whispers dangerously. “But I have a chance of getting back to my family and I will take it. Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t do the same.” He looks BL95 up and down. So just don’t get in my way.”
> 
> BL95 lets out a breath as Chan steps away, staring at him in a way Chan can’t understand. The soldier nods, clearing his throat.
> 
> “Alright, alright, I don’t want to pick a fight, CB,” he raises his hands. 
> 
> “Good,” Chan turns back to the map, “You wouldn’t win anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all!!   
Okay, so I know I'm very late... but Uni started like three weeks ago and I've been surprisingly busy actually socialising for once? I know, shocking! Anyway, I've been thinking about this story for ages and as usual, it's not really proofread but I hope you enjoy it anyway <3 Smells Like Roses to Me will be updated soon with the proofread version as well, so there will be no typos and grammatical mistakes!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter, and pls pls love my new character, promise he won't always be a dick <3

“Soldier,” Icarus says slowly. Chan doesn’t look up. “You failed.”

He did.

_ Do not give any reactions. _

“The order was to bring down 30 soldiers in three minutes.” Icarus’s nails dig into his jaw as the vampire raises Chan’s chin to forcefully look into his eyes. “You were ten seconds late.”

“I apologise sir,” Chan says, monotone. “It won’t happen again, sir.”

“Ah, but you know what’s coming, don’t you, soldier?” Icarus grins. Chan averts his eyes. “We cannot afford you making any mistakes.”

Icarus lets go of Chan.

He immediately falls to his knees. 

“Good,” Icarus’ sadistic laugh rings through the training room. “You already know you’re gonna get punished.” 

He pays no mind to the injured soldiers on the floor. 

Soldiers that  _ Chan _ put there.

“You two,” Icarus calls to the two guards at the door. “Take him to the cell again.”

Chan doesn’t beg for forgiveness. He’s done that before and it hasn’t changed anything, so he doesn’t waste his breath. 

It’s been three months and he’s still terrified of going back under the ground. 

Of being buried _ alive _ .

“Soldier CB97,” Icarus says before Chan is dragged out of the room. “I expect you to be back here tomorrow. So put some effort in and get out of those damn coffins quicker this time.”

*

Just like the first time, it’s Yoongi who leads him out of the cell. He has the same look on his face, but Chan can interpret it now.

It’s guilt.

Chan still isn’t sure  _ what _ he feels guilty for - it’s not Yoongi’s fault Chan keeps making mistakes. He accepts the jumper he offers nevertheless, understanding that this is Yoongi’s way of showing he cares while they’re in front of District 0 soldiers.

“Go and have a shower,” Yoongi says once they get to the base of the rebellion, hidden behind the bushes Chan was dragged into two months ago. Back then Chan was too distraught - now he understands that this is how the rebellion operates. 

A bunch of double agents trying to survive and blend in.

Something feels different this time though.

“Icarus has cancelled your training today,” Yoongi says, and his voice is something close to…  _ excited?  _ “He’s out of the district right now.”

Chan nods, somewhat confused at the older’s words. What does it matter where Icarus is? He’ll come back anyway.

“I’ve gotten in touch with District 7,” Yoongi continues. He leads Chan down to one of the meeting rooms, but other than Jackson, the witch, there’s no one else there. “We can talk to them now.”

“O...kay?” Chan frowns. He tenses up when they stop next to Jackson, even though the witch has apologised to him several times about the curse. When Chan learnt that Jackson can’t fix the curse until Chan leaves District 0, otherwise the strength of the magic would alert the guard-witches, he understood that Jackson is just as much a victim here as he is, but it doesn’t make it easier to talk to him. 

Chan has learnt pretty quickly that it’s a miracle the rebels even have a base here, considering magic is regulated pretty tightly. “Why do you need me for that?”

“I talked to Taehyung,” Yoongi says softly. “He said your pack is there.”

“Changbin and Jisung?” Chan’s voice wavers at the new information.

“All eight of them, little one,” Yoongi grabs Chan’s shoulders. Chan pretends he doesn’t flinch. “All eight of them.”

“Oh,” Chan breathes. Jackson smiles at him, and Chan forces a smile back at him, but he doesn’t feel relieved. “I don’t understand.”

“You can talk to them,” Yoongi says. “If you want to.”

It’s silent for a moment.

“No.”

Both Yoongi and Jackson blink at him in confusion, but Chan’s already stepping back, ready to leave. 

He can’t let his pack see what he’s become.

“Chan, where are you going?” Yoongi frowns, worry on his face.

“Away,” Chan is almost out the door when Yoongi raises his voice.

“Stop!”

It’s like a switch is flicked - Chan’s is rooted in the ground, heartbeat suddenly raising as he snaps to attention. He takes a second to shake himself out of it, but by the time he realises that he’s not in the training room anymore, Yoongi is in front of him.

“You-” he sighs exasperatedly, “Do you  _ know  _ how broken they are over your absence?”

Chan frowns.

“They  _ barely  _ function, Chan,” Yoongi sighs. “I talked to Taehyung, and it’s hard on him too. Your pack misses you. Jungkook and Taehyung misses you. And they’re worried  _ sick _ .”

“I can’t go back anyway,” Chan shrugs. “I’m stuck here.”

“Not if you’re willing to talk to District 7,” Yoongi begs. “Why the  _ hell  _ don’t you want to talk to them? To Felix? To  _ Woojin _ ?” 

Chan understands why Yoongi’s confused. Hell, up until now, Chan thought he would give anything to talk to the others as well. But now that he’s here…

“I don’t want them to see what I’ve become,” he whispers quietly. 

Yoongi’s eyes widen in realisation, and then his body sags in defeat. 

“You’re talking about your eyes,” he whispers.

“And my hair, and my scars, and  _ everything,  _ hyung,” Chan lets out a breath. “Look at me!”

Chan stares at Yoongi desperately, his blood red eyes reflecting Yoongi’s. The younger’s hair is white, just like Icarus’s, and he is as pale as a ghost. 

He looks just like every other District 0 soldier. 

Emotionless, dead, and  _ predatory.  _

“Chan,” Yoongi says quietly, and Chan realises somewhere in the back of his mind that Yoongi  _ understands  _ what he’s going through. “They won’t care. I promise.”

“Promises don’t worth  _ shit _ ,” Chan suddenly explodes, white anger blinding him. “I  _ promised _ Felix I’d come back. I  _ promised _ Woojin we’d look after the kids together. I didn’t keep  _ any _ of it.”

“Listen to me,” Yoongi ignores him. “We have a plan. We need you to deliver a message to District 7. This is your chance to get out of here. But you have to talk to them.”

“Are you saying I might be able to get out of here?” Chan’s doubtful. 

“Yes,” Yoongi nods. “Now will you talk to Taehyung?” 

“And the others as well?” Chan asks.

“Yeah,” the older breathes.

After a second, Chan slowly nods, and Yoongi’s shoulders sag in relief. 

“Okay,” he turns to Jackson, who’s awkwardly looking at the maps on the wall, trying to let the two vampires have their moment. “Jackson, Icarus is away at the moment and he took most of the guard witches with them, so you only have to dodge the four left.”

Chan watches them interact, wondering why Icarus took the guard witches away. Yoongi doesn’t give an explanation, but he usually doesn’t talk about Circle business. 

“I’m connecting now,” Jackson mutters as he touches the wall, closing his eyes. It looks like the wall turns into water for a second, and then Taehyung’s face appears, sitting at a table, curled on himself.

“Yoongi hyung,” he gasps when he notices them. His eyes lit up, and then they travel from Yoongi to Chan and there are so many emotions on his face Chan can’t keep up. “Oh my god… Chan?”

“Hi, hyung,” Chan waves awkwardly. Taehyung stares at him for another moment and Chan’s starting to think this is a bad idea when the medic mage bursts into tears as he lets out the brightest smile ever. 

“You’re alive,” he sniffs, and Chan can feel Yoongi wanting to move towards the mage despite knowing he can’t reach him. “Oh, god, we were worried sick.”

“Yeah, I’m still here,” Chan gulps, the warmth in Taehyung’s voice feeling alien. He’s not sure how to react. 

“Jungkook,” Taehyung shouts, not taking his eyes off Yoongi and Chan. “Let them in.”

Before Chan knows, the boys he’s been missing for the past three months pile in the room.

They look  _ terrible.  _

Chan’s motherly instincts instantly take over as he sees Jisung and Changbin holding hands, both of them skinny and pale, and then his eyes travel to Minho, who’s literally leaning all his weight on Jeongin, seconds away from falling apart. Felix is holding Hyunjin’s and Seungmin’s shoulders, trying to look strong, but he looks like he lost some weight too. 

And Woojin.

Woojin looks like he’s seen a ghost when they make eye-contact.

“Hyung,” Jisung rasps, and then he lets his tears fall. “Hyung, you’re alive.”

“Jisung, puppy,” Chan’s voice breaks as he steps forward, reaching towards the wall. “Changbin-”

He sees the werewolf stepping closer, opening his mouth, and then closing it in frustration. 

It takes Chan one second to figure out what that means.

“It’s okay,” Chan quickly says, and he can feel his eyes sting. “It’s okay, Changbinnie, I understand.”

Changbin nods, and then nods again, reaching back to hold Felix’s hand. 

“Felix,” Chan gasps, and for a moment his knees wobble, but Yoongi grabs his arms to keep him up.“I’m  _ so sorry. _ ”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Felix breathes. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault,  _ god _ , hyung, what did they do to you?”

Chan flinches back from the words. 

“You-,” he hears his voice, before Woojin moves closer, and there is  _ anger.  _ Raw, hot anger that makes Chan feel like he’s just been slapped. “How could you just  _ leave- _ ”

“Hyung,” Minho whispers quietly. Woojin is breathing heavily, and he tries to calm himself down as he closes his eyes.

“You,” the shapeshifter starts again. “you left me.”

And isn’t that right? 

That’s all Chan does.

“I wish,” Woojin whispers, voice wavering. “I wish you would have let me come up with a new plan.”

“There wasn’t enough time,” Chan hardens. Gone the momentary weakness he has shown. He straightens, puts his hands behind his back to hide their shakiness, and he lets his face fall back into a blank state.

“There was,” Woojin looks more hurt and confused now, and the rest of the boys are also taken aback by Chan’s mood change. “We could have come up with something-”

“And let you get taken too?” Chan actually scoffs this time. “Trust me, you do not want to come here.”

There is silence in the room. Chan can see Changbin squeeze Felix’s hand so hard he’s sure it’s gonna leave a bruise. 

Chan bitterly smiles to himself. 

His pack won’t like what’s left of the Chan they knew. 

He’s too  _ ruined _ now.

Too much like a  _ District 0 soldier. _

“Chan,” Minho smiles at him when the vampire looks up. “We’re happy to see you. We missed you a lot.”

“Yeah,” Chan is shaken out of his mind with those words. “I missed you boys too.”

“You look different,” Seungmin says suddenly. 

“Yeah,” Chan presses his lips together.

“Your eyes…” Jisung mumbles. “They’re red. Are you hungry?”

“They’re…” Chan clears his throat. “They’re permanent.”

“What?” Jisung frowns. “How? They should only be red when you’re hungry.”

Chan sees Yoongi slightly flinch from the corners of his eyes.

“I’m always hungry now,” Chan admits quietly. His pack yet again, stays silent. 

“Okay,” Yoongi clears his throat, “I know this is all kind of emotional, but we don’t have a lot of time.” He leans on the table, raising his eyes to meet Jungkook’s who’s just been standing at the door, silently observing. “Jungkook?”

“Yeah,” he breathes, then he shakes his head as if to wake himself up. He makes eye-contact with Chan and the vampire instantly looks away. “It’s-, it’s nice to see you again, Chan.”

Chan stays silent.

“The plan,” Jungkook continues, not bothered by the younger’s silence, “is for Chan to deliver a package from District 0.”

It’s quiet once again as Chan nods, still staring at the floor.

“What package?” Woojin asks hesitantly. 

“It’s confidential, I’m sorry,” Jungkook frowns. 

“I think Chan deserves to know what he’s going to carry through seven districts,” Minho raises his eyebrows. “Right, hyung?”

Chan forces himself to give a light shrug. 

“I can do whatever,” he mutters, holding back the ‘sir’ at the end.

“Chan,” Yoongi says gently. “look at me.”

Chan snaps his head up, and blinks at Yoongi, eyes trained on his mouth just so he doesn’t have to make eye-contact. 

“It’ll be difficult, but we can get you out, okay?” Yoongi smiles. “You can escape.”

“What about you?” Chan asks softly. He can hear Taehyung holding back his breath.

“If you deliver this package, District 0 won’t be holding any of us hostage for much longer,” the older vampire says confidently.

“Do you promise?” Chan asks, finally looking into Yoongi’s eyes. It feels like he’s being choked even though he doesn’t need air, but he continues to stare. Yoongi nods, holding Chan’s shoulders, squeezing them. 

“I promise.”

“Okay,” Chan breathes. “Let’s do it then.”

“You’re coming back,” Felix says and his voice shakes, reminding Chan of how much he went through already.

“I am,” Chan says once again. “I’m coming back home.”

His boys cheer, and when Chan glances at Woojin, he’s already looking back, with a ghost of a smile on his face. The shapeshifter nods, his shoulders relaxing as he closes his eyes, and Chan knows he’s been forgiven. 

*

“You shouldn’t have been so harsh, hyung,” Felix says as soon as they come back to the living room.

It’s just the two of them, Changbin and Jisung needing to do some pack-bonding after the emotional call. Minho took the rest out for a walk to leave Woojin and Felix to talk privately. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Woojin says blankly, heading to the kitchen to make some tea for himself. As he walks in, his eyes stop on the strawberry tea safely placed on the shelf. 

It’s Chan’s favourite. 

“Did you even see him?” Felix’s voice gets deeper, and Woojin knows he’s actually angry this time. He closes his eyes, preparing for the conversation.

“Of course I did.”

“He’s-, He’s  _ different,  _ hyung,” Felix stutters. “He’s  _ vulnerable. _ ”

“I could have been there with him, Felix,” Woojin finally turns around, giving up on the cup of tea he was making. “I could have  _ helped  _ him.”

“You don’t  _ know that! _ ” Felix shouts, and Woojin blinks from the sudden tone of voice. Felix is breathing heavily, glaring at Woojin with so much emotion, yet the shapeshifter can’t read what they mean. 

“Felix-,”

“No,  _ listen _ for once!” Felix growls. He steps closer to Woojin and for a second the older is actually scared. Felix’s hair is overtaken by petunias, but as quick as they grow, they wither, falling to the ground. “You don’t get it, do you?”

Woojin gulps. 

“Chan was hunted, hyung,” Felix shakes his head, still shaking from anger. “Even if he would have gotten away from the soldiers in time, they wouldn’t have left him until they got him. The academy would have been in danger.”

“But-,”

“ _ If  _ you would have been captured with him,” Felix continues, cutting off Woojin, “You would have most likely been killed. District 0 don’t collect shapeshifters.” 

“You don’t know that,” Woojin mutters weakly.    
“And if you would have survived, they would have used you two against each other,” Felix says. “Both of you would have been tortured, separated, and nothing would be any better.”

Woojin is stunned into silence.

“Don’t you get it?” Felix says, lowering his voice. “We couldn’t have done anything to stop this from happening.”

“That’s not true,” Woojin says weakly, but he doesn’t believe himself either. 

Not anymore.

“If you want to blame someone, blame District 0,” Felix mutters. “Don’t take it out on Chan.”

“It feels like he didn’t give me a choice at all,” Woojin lets his head fall into his hands. “It’s just… frustrating.”

“I know,” Felix sighs. “but you’ve seen him, hyung…”

“I have,” Woojin whispers.

And truly, Chan looked  _ terrible _ . 

Woojin hates how he stands like a soldier, posture laced with confidence and something  _ dark,  _ and how he hid his emotions so easily. 

How  _ bitter  _ he’s become.

But Woojin doesn’t blame him, no, Woojin would rather  _ die  _ than to blame Chan for becoming the person he is now after many possible tortures. 

_ God,  _ Woojin doesn’t even want to think about the fact that Chan definitely has more scars than when he left. 

“His eyes,” Felix murmurs quietly. “They’re so raw.”

Felix doesn’t mean the colour of them. Woojin knows he means the pain. 

They’re screaming for help. 

“He’s coming back soon,” Woojin says, raising his chin up. “He might never be the same, but he’s still Chan,” he lets out the air in his lungs. “And we will help him through this, just like how he always helped us.”

“Yeah,” Felix smiles softly. “We will.”

*

First time Chan meets BL95 is when he’s sneaking into the kitchen. 

_ He’s quiet, making no sound as he slips into the room, only to find himself face to face with another District 0 soldier, frozen in place as he’s holding the blood-packet to his mouth.  _

_ Chan doesn’t move - he knows he’ll be in the cell for a week if he gets found here,  _

_ The fear makes his tongue heavy.  _

_ “I won’t tell if you won’t,” the soldier shrugs, relaxing his body. Chan blinks, slowly nodding, and the soldier throws him a packet of blood. _

_ “That’s not why I came here,” Chan stutters, but his eyes are already trained on the blood bag.  _

_ “Your eyes say otherwise, newbie,” the soldier grins. _

_ “They’re permanent,” Chan mutters distractedly, and before he knows it, his teeth sink into the bag.  _

_ His eyes roll back as he tastes the ambrosia, and he forgets about the other soldier until he finishes the blood.  _

_ The other vampire is staring at him, something akin to fear in his eyes. _

_ “Are you CB97?” he asks, frowning.  _

_ “Yeah,” Chan wipes his mouth, ignoring the shame burning his body.  _

_ Blood has always been his weakness.  _

_ “I’m BL95,” the soldier says slowly.  _

_ “Nice to meet you,” Chan clears his throat, moving past the other.  _

_ “Don’t think you should drink more blood, mate,” BL95 steps towards him warningly, but he stops once he sees Chan stuff bread in his pockets. “What are you doing?” _

_ “None of your business,” Chan mutters, walking back to the door. “See you around, I guess.” _

_ “You’re fucking insane,” BL95 frowns in disgust, but Chan has already disappeared.  _

Ever since then, BL95 has always made sure to keep an eye on him. 

Especially when they ran into each other at the Rebellion Base.

“Chan, come here for a second,” Yoongi asks one day, after Chan comes back from his training. There are cuts all over his face, and his left arm is sore, but he snaps into attention right away as the older vampire beckons him over.

Chan makes eye-contact with BL95 right away, and he snaps his eyes to the ground when he sees the recognition in them. Only when he lets his eyes focus does he realise he’s staring at three pairs of shoes.

“This is BL95, and this is Jay,” Yoongi says. Chan forces his chin up so he can look at the unfamiliar vampire.

“So you’re CB97,” the red haired man says, his blood red eyes scanning Chan’s body. He looks pale, and Chan’s already feeling uncomfortable around him, like there’s something off.

“I’m the head of the Rebellion,” Jay says, pouting his lips. He tilts his head, and Chan doesn’t miss the fact that the vampire is staring at his scars. 

“With me,” Yoongi frowns. “We’re both the leaders.”

“Yeah,” Jay says absentmindedly. “I suppose.”

“Sir, is this all?” BL95 suddenly asks, eyes never leaving Chan. “CB97 and I have already met.”

“Oh, really?” Yoongi smiles, but when BL95 doesn’t continue, it melts off his face. “I think you guys would get along.”

“Doubt it,” BL95 mutters, and Chan is glad he’s become so good at staying blank. “He’s too far gone, sir.”

“BL95,” Yoongi’s voice suddenly becomes cold. “Watch what you’re saying.” 

BL95 stays quiet.

“You can leave,” Jay shrugs. “I was only interested in Chan anyways.”

When Jay turns his back on BL95, he rolls his eyes, then, after throwing another glance at Chan, he struts out the room. 

“He should be fine,” Jay says to Yoongi, and Chan’s eyes find their way back to the floor. “Doesn’t seem to banged up yet.”

“Jay,” Yoongi’s tone is dark. “I suggest we take this somewhere else.” 

“Whatever,” Jay frowns. “You can leave now, soldier.”

“Yes, sir,” Chan bows slightly. 

His feet blindly carry him to the map room, head spinning from the conversation from before. He chokes his emotions down and leans against the table, but before he can take a breath, a voice interrupts his thoughts.

“Heard you lasted four weeks in that rotting cell,” BL95 says. 

Chan ignores him, intensely staring at the map on the table. He needs to distract himself.

“That was a foolish thing to do,” the soldier states, leaning against the wall. Chan’s eyes flicker to him. “You ended up here anyway.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” Chan says without any emotions. His blank face must bother BL95 because he frowns, cocking his head.

“I was in that cell for three days,” BL95 continues. “Saved myself all that torture.”

“Congratulations,” Chan mutters. He studies the map, trying to find escape rooms, but BL95 doesn’t seem like he wants to shut up.

“Four weeks though, that’s a long time, CB97,” BL95 chuckles. “No wonder your eyes are already permanently red.”

Chan squeezes the corner of the table.

“Huh,” the soldier says. “I hit a nerve, didn’t I?”

“Don’t you have other things to do?” Chan growls. BL95 laughs dryly. 

“Unlike you, I’m not brainwashed,” he sneers. “I don’t follow orders blindly.”

“Then open your fucking eyes,” Chan turns to him. “and let me focus on getting back to my family.”

BL95 falters at that, but he doesn’t move from his position. 

“You’re crazy if you think you can get away from here,” he says, unsure.

“I’m delivering a package,” Chan murmurs. “Min says he’ll get me out.”

BL95 scoffs.

“Of course. You show up, spend three months here and Min gets you out.” He crosses his arms. “Go on, leave the rest of us rot in here.”

Chan slowly lifts his eyes. He steps closer to BL95 - the soldier tenses up, leaning back into the wall as Chan gets in his face.

“I don’t know who you think you are,” Chan whispers dangerously. “But I have a chance of getting back to my family and I will take it. Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t do the same.” He looks BL95 up and down. So just don’t get in my way.”

BL95 lets out a breath as Chan steps away, staring at him in a way Chan can’t understand. The soldier nods, clearing his throat.

“Alright, alright, I don’t want to pick a fight, CB,” he raises his hands. 

“Good,” Chan turns back to the map, “You wouldn’t win anyway.” 

He can feel BL95’s eyes bore into his back.

“You’re different from what I expected,” he mutters. “They told me you were…” he trails off, frowning.

“I was what?” Chan takes a long, deep breath. “Soft? Weak?  _ Vulnerable _ ?”

“Kind-hearted,” BL95 says quietly. “They told me you were kind-hearted.” 

Chan stares at him, a blank expression on his face.

“I don’t have time for that,” Chan forces it out. “I can’t save everyone in District 0 by sneaking them extra bread at meal times.”

“And yet you still do it,” BL95 has a strange smile on his face. 

Chan hates it. He hates how BL95 takes one look at him and can tell right away that as much as he wants to get back to his family, he cannot stand by and leave the rest of the rebellion here.

He’s a soldier now.

He can fight for the rebellion here.

“I don’t have time for this,” Chan suddenly turns around and walks toward the door.

“Where are you going?” BL95 shouts after him.

“I’m going to talk to Min,” Chan looks back. “Let him know that you’re gonna be the one carrying the message instead.”

*

“ _ What _ ?”

Min Yoongi is a small man, but when his blood-red eyes darken, Chan wants to run away and never look back.

Still, he doesn’t move.

“I’m asking you to choose BL95 to bring the message to District 7.”

“I  _ didn’t  _ ask you to do that,” BL95 spits vehemently. “Stop trying to be the good guy here. Drop the act.”

“May I ask,” Yoongi speaks slowly, and Chan can hear the underlying tension in there. “Why have you decided to pass the opportunity to go back to your pack and friends?”

“Why me?” Chan asks quietly. Yoongi furrows his eyebrows.

“What?”

“Why are you sending me?” Chan says again. “Is it because Jungkook and Taehyung knows me?” He raises his chin. “Because they  _ care _ for me?”

“Cha-“

“Do  _ not  _ give me special treatment because of them,” Chan growls. “I’m just a soldier. I want to fight here.”

BL95 glares at him furiously.

“CB97,” Yoongi mutters. “You are _ not _ just a soldier.” There is pity in his eyes, but Chan can’t tell why.

“Of course he is,” BL95 sneers. “Look at him, ready to be a pawn of everyone’s games.” 

“Shut  _ up _ ,” Chan glares at him.

“You don’t want to read the bigger picture, do you?” BL95 rolls his eyes. “Nobody does.”

“That’s enough!” Yoongi lets his fist drop on the table. The loud bang quiets everyone. “CB97, you are compromising the mission if you decide to back out now. The spells are specifically designed for you, we cannot change the plan this late.” Yoongi turns to BL95. “As for you, watch your mouth. CB97 has been undergoing special training from Icarus.” He pauses. “He has been since he got out of his cell.”

BL95 looks like he’s in an internal battle, but Chan looks away before he makes eye-contact.

“Yes, sir,” he says tightly to Yoongi. “I will not compromise our plan, sir.”

Yoongi looks like he wants to say something, but he’s interrupted by BL95 scoffing as he walks out the room and slams the door behind him.

“Can I leave, sir?” Chan asks hesitantly.

“Yes,” Yoongi sighs. “And Chan,” he says as the vampire is halfway out the door. “Remember what we talked about? You can call me Yoongi hyung here.”

Oh.

Chan must have forgot he’s not in training.

_ “Look at him, ready to be a pawn of everyone’s games.” _

“I apologise, sir,” Chan says absentmindedly as he leaves the room.

*

When Chan gets back from his training that night, he can instantly tell that someone’s in his room. He keeps a dagger in front of him as he carefully steps closer to his door. 

He hears a creak.

He lowers his hand.

“BL95,” he says as he opens the door. “What are you doing here?”

“How did you know it was me?” BL95 frowns. 

“I heard you.”

BL95 furrows his eyebrows.

“What brings you to my room at this time of the night?” Chan walks past him, sliding the dagger back into his boots. 

“I came here two hours ago,” BL95 mutters. “Thought you’d be here.” 

Chan shrugs.

“I had training.”

BL95 looks like he wants to say something, but in the end he just sighs, and pulls out a lighter. 

“You smoke?” Chan blinks. BL95 pauses for a second, tilting his head.

“Are you surprised?”

No, Chan isn’t, now that he thinks about it. Every soldier smokes around here, why would BL95 be any different?

“You want one?” BL95 asks. Chan stares at the cigarette in his hand, considering it.

“No,” he says slowly. BL95 shrugs. “Why do you smoke?”

“Well,” BL95 says. “I suppose it’s because it makes me feel more human. That’s why most of us do it.”

Chan thinks he understands. 

In the last few weeks, Chan found himself forgetting to breathe. He doesn’t need to, he knows that, but a part of him wasn’t willing to let go of something that’s a basic human function. 

He guesses smoking helps BL95 feel like less of a monster.

It  _ forces _ you to breathe.

“Yoongi sent me,” BL95 says once the cigarette is lit. “We have a date for the mission.”

“When is it?” Chan asks, distracted. He’s still thinking of changing his mind about asking for a cigarette.

“Tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Chan blinks. “That’s early.”

“Yeah,” BL95 lets out a deep breath. “I’m going to be taking you to the portal. You know,” he shrugs, “in case something goes wrong.” 

“Okay,” Chan nods.

“Okay?” BL95 furrows his eyebrows. “Are you not gonna ask anything about the plan?”

“Why, will I not get briefed tomorrow?”

“You’re unbelievable,” BL95 shakes his head. “They really did a number on you.”

“What does that supposed to mean?” Chan frowns. Everyone keeps talking around him like something’s wrong with him.

He’s  _ fine. _

He functions, doesn’t he? Didn’t lose his mind. Doesn’t even feel even remotely unstable.

So why is he being treated like he’s crazy?

“They told me you would actually pull through,” BL95 rolls his eyes. “That’s why they chose you.”

“What are you on about?” Chan is starting to get annoyed now.

“Oh,” BL95’s eyes suddenly get round. “You don’t actually know, do you?”

“Know  _ what _ ?”

“That explains things,” BL95’s expression becomes tense. “Oh  _ fuck. _ ”

Chan’s body moves before his mind, and in the next moment he finds himself pressing BL95 against the wall. 

“Stop  _ ignoring me, _ ” he spits.

“Alright, alright,” BL95 doesn’t look nearly as scared as Chan thinks he should. “You deserve to know anyway.”

Chan continues to glare.

“Around two months ago, Yoongi and Jay were arguing.”BL95 looks to the side. “Yoongi didn't want to send you, but Jay insisted that you should be the one chosen for this mission.”

“Why didn’t Yoongi want me to do this?” Chan frowns. 

“Because it means you had to do extra training sessions with Icarus,” BL95 scoffs. “The only way the plan works is if you spend enough time with Icarus so his aura rubs on you and thus we can open the portal because we have enough of his magic.”

“Icarus has magic?”

“Icarus is a mage turned vampire.”

“That’s not a thing,” Chan frowns. 

“Not usually,” BL95 agrees.

“I still don’t understand,” Chan says unsurely. Why is training with Icarus a bad thing?”

“Chan,” BL95 actually looks pitying here. “Those sessions are not training you to fight better.” 

Chan steps back.

“They train you to follow orders blindly.”

“That’s not true,” Chan denies. “I’m with the rebellion.” He crosses his arms. “I don’t agree with District 0’s ideas at all.”

“That doesn’t mean they can’t make you into a District 0 soldier,” BL95 says. “Doesn’t matter which side you’re on, you still don’t defy authority anymore.”

“You’re a soldier too,” Chan whispers. “Why am I any different?”

“Because you don’t know anything about how the rebellion operates, and yet you’re still blindly following them,” BL95 says seriously. “What difference does it make which side you’re on if you’re just gonna follow orders without questioning them anyway?”

Chan sucks in a breath.

“Listen, CB,” BL95 steps closer. “You’re brainwashed. You get into this zone when someone with a higher rank talks to you, you know? Like you’re a robot.”

“Get out,” Chan chokes out. 

BL95 raises his eyebrows. 

“I said get out.”

“CB-,”

“ _ Get out. _ ” 

“Okay, okay,” BL95 says quickly. “I’m sorry.”

He walks backwards to the door, but before he leaves, he glances at Chan once more.

“Just...just don’t forget who you are.”

Then he leaves Chan to his own thoughts.


End file.
